ComplianceMouse™ BioSecure Edition

Product Description

Introducing the ComplianceMouse™ BioSecure Edition—the world's first productivity-enforcement peripheral engineered to ensure your true physical presence at work. With our proprietary FingerPresence™ biometric sensor, advanced Shock Intelligence System™, and real-time MS Teams status monitoring, the ComplianceMouse guarantees that every moment of "active" time is authentically, undeniably yours. 🔬 FingerPresence™ Biometric Sensor A capacitive fingerprint pad continuously verifies you—not your cat, your Roomba, or your "ingenious coin solution." If your finger leaves the sensor for >2 seconds, the mouse initiates Motivational Reinforcement Pulse™. ⚡ Shock Intelligence System™ • Performance Review Mode – gentle stings encourage consistency • Dev On-Call Mode – escalates shocks during outages • Manager Override Mode (Enterprise only) – allows remote correction events Shock intensity adjusts based on stress-sweat levels (more conductivity = more efficiency!). 🕵️ Slack/Teams Presence Enforcement Triggers a motivational pulse if you: turn yellow ("Away"), miss a message, take >2 minutes to respond, type "lol" to an executive, or enter Do Not Disturb during work hours. Technical Specs: • Shock Output Range: 3V – 120V (auto-regulated) • Material: Anodized aluminum, conductive side panels • Weight: 89g (plus 30g shame) • Health Modes: "Coaching," "Correction," and "On-Call Aggression" ⚠️ Legal Disclaimer: ComplianceMouse™ is not classified as a harmful device in most jurisdictions. WorkEthic Systems is not liable for finger numbness, finger crispiness, or sudden enlightenment regarding your career choices.