node_modules Storage Crate

Product Description

Tired of your node_modules folder consuming your entire hard drive? The node_modules Storage Crate provides a physical solution to your dependency bloat problem. Just print out your dependencies and store them the old-fashioned way! Dimensions & Capacity: • External: 4ft × 4ft × 4ft (107 cubic feet) • Weight Limit: 500 lbs (package.json not included) • Stores up to 847,293 dependencies • Accommodates transitive dependencies up to 16 levels deep • Special compartment for left-pad and its spiritual successors Features: • Industrial-strength steel construction (dependencies are heavy) • Reinforced bottom (seriously, node_modules weighs a lot) • Climate-controlled option for sensitive packages • Forklift compatible • Fire suppression system (for your burning rage) Organization System: • Alphabetical dividers (A-Z, @scoped packages get their own section) • Depth markers for dependency tree visualization • Color-coded labels: - Red: Deprecated packages (most of the crate) - Yellow: Security vulnerabilities (also most of the crate) - Green: Packages you actually use (2 folders) - Black: Packages that install other package managers 🎯 Perfect Storage For: • That one project you started in 2016 • Your collection of abandoned webpack configs • Dependencies that depend on dependencies that depend on other dependencies • jQuery (you don't need it, but it's still there somehow) • 47 different versions of the same package • Your crushing existential dread Includes Free Bonus Items: • "npm install" trauma therapy voucher • Commemorative left-pad memorial plaque • Support group contact information • 1-year supply of "just delete node_modules and reinstall" advice ⚠️ Assembly Note: Requires 847,293 Allen keys (not included) Compatible with: • npm • yarn • pnpm • whatever new package manager dropped this week • Your tears Remember: rm -rf node_modules && npm install is always an option... but where's the fun in that?