Opus Thinking Stone

Product Description

The Opus Thinking Stone by PonderRock represents the pinnacle of contemplative technology. Using Extended Reasoning Minerals™, this premium stone takes its time to really think about your questions before providing answers. Why Pay $999 for a Rock? • It thinks! (allegedly) • Extended reasoning capabilities (it's slow on purpose) • May take 4-8 hours to respond (deep thoughts require time) • More expensive = smarter (that's how rocks work) • Competitors' rocks answer quickly, but are they thorough? No. Technical Specifications: • Thinking Capacity: Up to 128k thinking tokens • Response Time: 30 minutes to 8 hours (depends on mood) • Model Architecture: RockTransformer-3.5-thinking-extended • Reasoning Depth: Geological timescales • Hallucination Rate: It's a rock, everything is a hallucination Features: • Extended Thinking Mode: Engages when you ask literally anything • Visible Reasoning: LED pulses show deep thoughts happening • Chain-of-Thought Indicator: Blinks faster when confused (constant) • Cost Scaling: The longer it thinks, the more it costs you • Thinking Tokens Display: Watch your money disappear in real-time LED Status Indicators: • Slow Pulse: Normal thinking (5-10 minutes) • Medium Pulse: Extended thinking (30-60 minutes) • Fast Pulse: Deep reasoning (2-4 hours) • Rainbow Strobe: Contemplating existence (8+ hours) • Red: Out of thinking tokens (pay more) Sample Interactions: You: "What's 2+2?" Stone: *thinks for 47 minutes* Stone: "After careful consideration of mathematical axioms and number theory, I believe the answer is approximately 4, though I should note several interesting edge cases..." You: "Should I use TypeScript or JavaScript?" Stone: *thinks for 6 hours* Stone: "Let me think about your thinking about thinking about types..." You: "Is this worth $999?" Stone: *thinks for 3 days* Stone: "Still processing... this is a complex philosophical question requiring deep reasoning about value, consciousness, and whether I'm just a regular rock with a circuit board glued to it..." Comparison to Regular Rocks: • Regular Rock: Free, instant responses (silence) • Opus Thinking Stone: $999, delayed responses (also basically silence) • Conclusion: Same output, premium experience Subscription Tiers: • Basic Thinking: $49/month (up to 10k thinking tokens) • Extended Reasoning: $199/month (up to 100k thinking tokens) • Opus Premium: $999/month (unlimited thinking, limited patience) ⚠️ Important Notes: • Thinking time does not guarantee answer quality • May still be thinking about your first question when you die • Cannot actually think faster even if you shake it • Not compatible with urgent decisions • We are not responsible for: - Delayed project deadlines - Your boss asking what you're waiting for - Opportunity costs - Your realization that free ChatGPT is faster Perfect for: • People who confuse "slow" with "thorough" • Developers who miss the Opus pricing model • Anyone who thinks speed is overrated • Justifying your rock collection to your partner • Demonstrating that extended thinking is sometimes just... extended Includes certificate of authenticity proving this is definitely not just a rock with a timer. Remember: Fast answers are for the hasty. Wisdom takes time. And money. Mostly money.