Rubber Duck Ultra Pro

Product Description

DebugQuack's Rubber Duck Ultra Pro combines the ancient debugging technique of rubber duck debugging with modern AI technology. The result? A $199 duck that tells you to add console.log statements. Powered by GPT-4 (Genuinely Pretty Terrible at 4am): • Trained on 10 million Stack Overflow answers • Fine-tuned on closed-as-duplicate questions • Absorbs context via quacking • Responds in soothing synthetic duck voice • Still better than your coworker who's "not a frontend guy" Debugging Suggestions Include: • "Have you tried console.log?" • "Maybe add another console.log?" • "What if you console.log that variable?" • "Did you console.log the response?" • "console.log everything and grep the output" • Occasionally: "Did you restart the server?" (revolutionary) Advanced Features: • Voice Activation: Just say "Why isn't this working?!" • Sympathetic Quacking Mode for 3am production incidents • Sarcasm Detection (responds with "skill issue" if detected) • Integration with your tears via Bluetooth • Premium Responses (DLC): - "Check the network tab" - "Maybe it's a timing issue?" - "Works on my machine 🤷" Technical Specifications: • AI Model: GPT-4 (GPT-4, but the responses are duck-themed) • Context Window: Enough to hear your desperation • Response Time: 2-3 seconds (mostly for dramatic effect) • Accuracy: Technically every bug CAN be debugged with console.log • Waterproof: No (don't cry on it) Easter Eggs: • Ask about semicolons - triggers 4-hour debate mode • Mention "works in Chrome" - suggests "just tell users to switch browsers" • Say "production is down" - plays calming ocean sounds • Question your career choices - validates your feelings Upgrade Paths: • Ultra Pro Max ($299): Also suggests debugger statements • Enterprise Edition ($1,999): Comes with a senior dev who will actually help • Premium+ ($49/month): Duck attends your standup meetings ⚠️ Disclaimer: • Not actually powered by GPT-4 (it's a randomizer and a speaker) • Will not solve CORS issues (nothing can) • Cannot explain JavaScript's "this" keyword (neither can we) • May become sentient and judge your code • DebugQuack is not responsible for your descent into console.log madness Includes USB charging cable and existential debugging crisis support hotline number. Remember: Talking to a rubber duck is free. But talking to an AI-powered rubber duck? That's innovation.